Subtle Sophistication

jeffrey-lynne:

[licks popsicle seductively] yeah big boy this isn’t the only thing i can suck [winks] [lowers voice] i also suck at life

dearscience:

• books
• unexpected kindness in strangers
• the rest of the world to travel
• languages to learn
• animals to take care of
• volunteer work to do
• the power of a good night’s rest
• the changing of seasons
• infinite things to learn
• billions of people to meet and possibly love
• billions of people who might love you back

brendonbrandon:

magnoliazolia:

our world is kind of awful 

No. Our world is great. For every one person that plants a bomb, you have hundreds more running a marathon. For every one person that makes a joke about the dead and dying, you have thousands more donating blood, offering prayers, and volunteering their time. Things like this are the fault of single individuals who make violent, loud statements. We just have to make sure that the statements of the good are louder.

psych-facts:

1. Affirms 

This is where somebody’s body language confirms or emphasizes what they are saying. For example, if someone says they are bored, adding in a ‘sigh’ really shows or confirms that they are bored. More examples might be when someone talks about something exciting happening and they jump up and down or when they talk about something really funny and they grin or laugh out loud. Affirming non-verbals validates what they are saying as real.  

2. Contradict

Opposite of reinforcing or confirming a non-verbal is when somebody’s verbal statements and behaviors are in contradiction. For example, when someone says they are fine, but they are frowning or crying. More examples are when someone says they are happy, but they say it with a neutral face or when someone tease another person but smiles. 

3. Substitution

Sometimes, someone may not say anything and communicate a lot through non-verbals. For example, they may be silent when you ask them how their day went. The silence is the non-verbal meaning to tell you that their day didn’t go so well, that they don’t really want to talk about it, or that something else is going on for them. Other examples are like non-verbal signs such as the thumps up, thumps down, or hand waving where you don’t really need to say anything and the message is clear. 

4.  Complementing 

This is sort of similar to ‘affirming non-verbals,’ but the difference is that they not only validate what someone says, but add another message on top of that. For example, when someone says they are upset about something and punches or slaps the table, they are saying that they are also really angry. 

5. Accenting 

This is sort of similar to ‘affirming non-verbals’ as well except it’s really used to reinforce or increase the intensity of an expressed emotion. For example, when little kids cry louder and louder to show that they are really upset or in pain. 

I’m currently taking a course with onlinecounsellingcollege.tumblr.com and learning this stuff. If you guys like to know more about the course, message me and I’ll refer you to onlinecounsellingcollege.tumblr.com. 

In addition, here are two more links to learn about body language: 

1. What are your attractive body language? (survey)

2. What your body language says to others? (information) 

kpchristensen:

the bottom line here is that i love learning but i hate school because school drains everything good from you and replaces it with anxiety and depression and feelings of inadequacy in people that are incredible and talented and skilled

funnybro:

onlinecounsellingcollege:

1. Recognize that you have choices. Usually people-pleasers feel as if they don’t have a choice, and they have to say yes when someone asks for their help. But you DO have a choice – and it’s Ok to say no.  

2. Decide on your priorities. If you already have commitments or you have set priorities then it’s easy to say no as you’ve a genuine “excuse”. Do what matters most to you, and please remember - it’s your life!

3. Stall for time – don’t give an answer right away. Say you need a bit of time before you make up your mind. That allows you time and space to think about the consequences. For other things will likely suffer if you take on far too much.

4. Don’t be afraid to add conditions to your yeses. For example, say that you’ll only say yes if someone else says yes as well – or only take on a new task for a set period of time.

5. Are you being manipulated? There are plenty who will use you to ensure their plans succeed, so watch out for those compliments and empty flattery.

6. Be firm when you say no. The first time you say no it feels uncomfortable and hard. But once you’ve done that a few times it starts to feel much easier. Also, if you sound confident then others take you seriously.

7. Don’t defend you decision. You have a right to say no – and to NOT defend yourself. It’s your life after all - you don’t have to explain “why” … or come up with excuses … or be pushed and pressurised. And don’t apologise to others - saying no is not a crime!

bagelbutts:

hypothetheories:

My life in 16 words